In a million years............

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt



Closer to the peak of our destination is when I began to sweat, in the last blog I made mention of the difficulties involved with the hike we took while at Grandfather. I'd like to proclaim that along with physical constraints accompanying it was a burst of emotional uncertainty that I haven't been through for quite sometime now. On the last leg of the trail where you begin to climb using these ladders is where things got a little hairy. As I climbed one set of steps I could see two others higher up but didn't think too much about it as I thought those would end our hike to the peak. Little did I realize exactly what was in store for me once we got a little further up. When the next set of stairs were behind me I looked up to see a third set (which I was fully prepared for); and then as a complete surprise I see a FOURTH, mind you we are climbing upwards to 5900 feet and are surrounded by more blue sky than anything else. I began to get scared as we climbed the next set of stairs, my grip got tighter, and Cody worked so hard to coerce me into getting to the next step, but I didn't want to let go of that ladder.........it took a moment once I reached the top to step up onto the rock from the security the ladder had to offer - at least with that I had something to hold on to. I couldn't believe how scared and panicky I became, Cody said it's just because I'm more cautious now. It's true, I see it as me being a pansy really, but he's right. It was just a little over a year ago when I was the girl who wasn't scared to try anything, especially when it came to climbing, and not JUST ladders. In rock climbing I had to take risks if I wanted to accomplish a boulder problem. Bouldering is arguably the purest form of climbing since you don't use ropes, all you have is a crash pad & sometimes good spotters to break your fall. I remember gaining a tremendous amount of strength in a short period of time, climbing was my life. I now have different things to occupy my time but they don't have any risks involved. My Dad and Mom are probably happy about that - I was careful though! The problems with my neck and back are a big part of why I'm not as confident in my abilities anymore, I feel as though there are better things in store for me, and unlike I thought, climbing just isn't one of them - at least for right now......