Volume Of My Cry

We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.

-Earl Nightingale

What I am affected by most are the physical restraints put upon me on a daily basis. As a result I no longer feel strong and confident, instead I feel weak and fragile. Admitting this to myself will never get easier. It's been very hard to shift my focus from what's been taken from me to what I am left with & what I do have to look forward to. I know that there are so many other people who have it far worse that I do & who are so much more limited than I am. And I do my best to keep that in mind. But who isn't guilty of focusing on themselves from time to time (I know that I am). My worries stem from thinking about the outcome of my situation. The absence of progress is what scares me the most. The therapist is beginning to look desperate, according to him there are only a couple more things that we can actually do. I broke down in his office today. It was apparent that this has been building up, I couldn't help it. I know he's doing everything that he can and that's one thing that upsets me most. I can't help but wonder about what will happen with me. I need to focus more attention on getting better instead of how I'm not getting better.


  1. What exactly are you recovering from? (if you don't mind my asking)

  2. At the end of January I had surgery. With the surgery they removed 3 discs from my cervical vertebrae (neck). This was all as a result of a car wreck I was in mid-July 2006. And the problem I'm having now is that I'm not feeling too much different than before I had the surgery. My muscles in my neck and shoulders are tight on a constant basis causing pain & discomfort. To me the worst part is that I can't be as active as I want to be anymore.